I know I only did one last week but it feels like a lot has happened so I wanted to do a little update.
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Eating: My appetite always disappears when it’s hot and this week has been a scorcher. Wednesday got up to a ridiculous 37 degrees so I’ve been having to force myself to eat light things like cold salads.
Clothes: My George maxi dresses have been a god send in this heat, although I’ll be honest I’ve been spending a lot of time hanging out in my knickers and a vest!
Appointments: I’ve had a couple of daycare appointments over the last two weeks as I mentioned in my post about pre-eclampsia so although they’ve been a bit tiresome, they’re necessary and have actually had good outcomes. My blood pressure is lowering and I’m still free of any other signs of pre-eclampsia.
I had a second appointment at Leicester Royal this week with the fetal medicine consultant and a neonatal surgeon to discuss Pea’s plan of care. Husband was working but fortunately my mama stepped in for him. We had a bit of a shock in that the surgeon told us he believes Pea’s problem with his oesophagus is slightly more complicated than they initially thought. Basically it will be one of two things, one is a lot simpler to deal with and will mean him being in hospital for a week or so but the other is more complicated and will mean him being in hospital for around three months. Mr D and I had been talking the night before when we thought it was the simpler problem and had decided we would stay in the hospital for the length of his stay because we just can’t face coming home without him, so hearing that he’s likely to be in for such a long period of time has really knocked me back.
There were two positives to come from the appointment though. The first being that I had a growth scan whilst I was there and he’s already a little chunk! He’s already weighing 3lb 15oz so we’re definitely looking at an 8lb+ baby even though I’ll be induced around 38 weeks. The consultant was really pleased because it means he’s got a bit of strength and some reserves behind him. The second good thing is that my fluid has reduced! Not only is this great because it means my risk of early labour has reduced, it also means it’s likely that Pea is starting to swallow. My body could be absorbing it somehow but it’s more likely he is swallowing. How that works with them thinking his oesophagus issue is the worst case scenario I don’t know but we’ll just have to wait and see.
We were also shown round the Neonatal Unit whilst we were there which was very, very tough but I’m so glad I did it. It was very emotional seeing the teeny prem babies and as awful as it sounds I just kept telling myself ‘at least he won’t be that tiny’. I got to talk to a couple of mums, one of whom was feeding her beautiful baby her breast milk through his feeding tube which gave me hope that I’ll be able to do the same. I was amazed at their strength because right now I can’t imagine being in there and not being a pile of tears. I have so much faith in the staff though, they were fantastic and although it’s going to be really difficult, he will be in the best place possible.
Mood: Definitely on the down side over the last week due to that appointment, dealing with the reality of that and some pretty shitty things happening to the people I love. It might seem childish but I’m very much in a ‘it’s not fair/why/the universe is horrible’ place at the minute and am very tearful but if that’s how I need to deal with it, that’s how I need to deal with it.
Worries: Lots. I’m worried about how we’ll cope with Pea being in hospital for such a long time, how we’ll even be able to come home without our baby. how Mr D will be able to go to work and how I’ll be able to sit at home with nothing to do knowing my baby is on a ward 40 miles away. How we’ll work out travelling to see him with only one car when Mr D will be at work. I’m worried that my baby won’t know who I am if I’m not with him all the time or that we’ll miss out on so much by not being there. The list is endless. And I am very, very worried about a few dear friends at the minute who are going through some incredibly tough times.
Bump: I don’t feel like it’s gotten any bigger the last couple of weeks. I think my fluid reducing and Pea growing has balanced out a little.
Worst bit: The appointment.
Symptoms: I’m actually feeling quite okay despite the awful heat. I think because of that I’m making an extra effort to look after myself and take it easy. The SPD/PGP is still making everything rubbish but it’s not getting worse which is a definite plus.
Movement: He is definitely running out of room rapidly! I’m having a lot of visible pushes and stretches now which can be uncomfortable sometimes but mostly just bloody magical.
Looking forward to: Meeting some families and children with Down’s Syndrome this weekend. Our local support group do monthly meetings, one for parents and young children and one at a local soft play centre which is the one we’ll be going to. I’m a bit nervous about meeting new people but looking forward to being able to access support from people who have had similar experiences to us. Mr D thinks he’s going to get to go in the soft play bit and play with the kids haha!
Mrs D & Pea x