Rebranding has been something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I started blogging publicly (not including the years and years of livejournal because the less said about those the better…) by sharing my plus size outfits on Frivolous Mrs D in March 2011, then moved to Frivolous Mama when I fell pregnant with Aneurin at the beginning of 2015. That blog was such a huge turning point for me, it saw me document my plus size pregnancy, the shock of Aneurin’s traumatic diagnosis of Downs Syndrome, his devastating death, my grief and then the difficulty of pregnancy after loss with Lily. Although it wasn’t a hugely successful blog in terms of reach or awards (hi, Frivolous Mrs D was once nominated for best blogger at the Plus Size Fashion Awards don’t you know?!), it was such an incredibly important space for me. It may not have won awards but it did grant me some fantastic opportunities and being able to share my writing and my experiences with both of my children is something I’m eternally grateful for.
However, I’m a firm believer in growth (and chucking myself headfirst into things without really thinking about them but this definitely isn’t one of those situations!) and Frivolous Mama doesn’t feel like me anymore. The name was born of an underhanded insult that I wanted to reclaim and whilst it was fun for a while, I’m more than ready to shake that off. As for the mama part, the majority of what I write about is parenting because that is what I am deeply invested in. Being a parent to both of my babies is woven into my every fibre. Every decision I make, every thing I do is with them in mind. But it is not all I am. Like almost every single parent (I say parent but I definitely mean predominantly mums and those who identify as mums), I lost myself in motherhood. For the first two years of Lily’s life I was completely absorbed in learning what it was to be a mum to a (very demanding) living baby and toddler whilst also learning what it was to be a mum to a baby who isn’t here, grieving for that baby, dealing with an intense episode of a lifelong anxiety disorder, PTSD, post natal depression and anxiety, relationship issues and using every ounce of energy to be the very best parent I could possibly be to Lily. I had very little left for anything else.
In the last few months though I feel like I’ve started to find pieces of myself again. Nothing spectacularly enormous has made that happen and actually life at the moment is impossibly stressful and intense but in some ways I think that’s helped. I’m able to see my strength in a way I haven’t before and for the first time in a very long time, I am confident and comfortable with myself. I’m not shying away from speaking out about the things I feel passionate about, I’m confident in my ability to articulate myself for the most part and I’m happy with where I’m at right now.
This all seems a bit over the top but essentially I wanted this space to be for me as a whole person, rather than about parenting or baby loss or parenting after loss. It will still cover all those things because they are still and will forever be enormously important parts of my life, but in finding pieces of myself again I’m also finding my love for my style, my passion for feminism, for body positivity and how those fit into my life both as an individual and as a parent.
It took me a while to get used to the idea of writing under my name rather than a name because I don’t feel quite important enough! It makes sense though if I want this space to be broader and not solely about one topic. It also now connects with my Instagram which is by far where I share the most and interact the most so hopefully it’ll make it easier for people to find.
So, here it is, elenalucie.com! All the content from my previous blogs are still here but hopefully what’s to come will be a little more consistent and a lot more exciting!
ps. Huge shout out to Hello Kaye for the beaut new design and Zoe Corkhill for seamlessly moving me from Blogger to WordPress. They were both fantastic to work with, so helpful and quick and made it all very simple. Thank you both!